Failure Sucks: A Savvy Tool for Coping With the F-Word

Listening to Bode Miller talk about his disastrous run at the 2006 Olympics when he became a pariah after displaying poor sportsmanship and failing to take home a single medal despite intense hype, I was reminded of all those athletes upon whom huge hope is pinned, but ultimately walked away empty-handed. Remember track & field favorites Dan and Dave, one of whom failed to qualify? Gymnast Kim Zmeskal who totally bombed on her solo events? Mary Decker, who fell on the track? Although talented, driven and deserving, during their moment in the spotlight, they flat out, gulp, failed.

It made me wonder, is there a savvy way to cope with failure? Most of us are not on an international stage, but failure can occur at any turn of a corner and doesn't need to be Olympic-sized to sting. A bounced check, a missed deadline, rejection from a client, an agent, or even a failed friendship or relationship. All failure sucks.

How to cope with failure is surely something we will not master in our lifetime, but a savvy tool we try to remember is to think about failure in the same way we think of success: neither of them define who we are. We are a gift in the world and neither success nor failure constitutes the entirety of our being. When we can greet both with humility, our chances of breezing through the snags and blows of failure with grace and security improve greatly. I love these words from Winston Churchill (frankly, who doesn't love a little WC quote when contemplating overcoming failure) and hope you will think of them the next time you hit a roadbump:

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”